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borderless confusion - 31 03 2001 - 20:37 - katatonik

Be typical!

In the course of a week, camp catatonia becomes cluttered with newspapers that are either read and digested over otherwise unexciting weekends or join the cycle of recycling without being as much as looked at. Such are the ways of informational darwinism. As this particular Saturday evening announces itself as otherwise unexciting, I am now, after having browsed one of the many paper-piles around me, in the fortunate position to provide potential visitors to Germany with important travel advice gained from the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung, issue March 18 (no, these snobs don’t have a free online-archive): Be typical! Strive for the stereotype!
Apparently, immigration officers at Frankfurt airport face increasing difficulties identifying illegal immigrants. Continuous improvement of forging techniques makes discovery of fake passports practically impossible. Creativity is asked for, and promptly provided. One particular immigration officer proudly reports having learnt a bit of Japanese – enough to say things like “welcome to our country”, “good morning”, and so on. Now he demonstratively uses them on anyone who shows up with a Japanese passport. Should a traveller appear not to understand the officer’s delicate Japanese, they immediately become targets of suspicion – they might be Taiwanese, mainland Chinese or otherwise non-Japanese Asians using a fake Japanese passport to enter the Land of The Chosen Ones. This particular officer is not the only one to brush up his cross-cultural skills: Immigration officers at Frankfurt are generally encouraged to learn more about manners and customs of diverse nations so as to sort out those who behave untypically as potential illegal immigrants. Hence, traveller, should you land in Frankfurt, wear your Lederhosen or Kimono. Speak your broadest dialect, dance your tribal dances! Look at immigration into Germany as a welcome opportunity for a cultural fair! Be typical!
If you’re not and you end up being held up as a potential illegal immigrant, you probably deserve it: Isn’t foresaking one’s precious cultural identity almost as criminal as wanting to enter Germany under false pretense?

gimme some attention or i'll revenge myself with athlete's foot.

leg (Mar 31, 09:44 pm) #

shut up, leg, or i'll turn you into a phantom limb.

katatonik (Mar 31, 09:53 pm) #

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