I am sure I need not remind esteemed visitors to this establishment of the despicable attitude that some of its regulars take towards the role of socks in world history. We’ve all heard it, but, you know, foot, just because you shout loud enough doesn’t mean you’re right. Damn, even if an Austrian high court should rule that your statement “socks are insignificant” were to count as legitimate political criticism of Sock World Domination, it wouldn’t mean you’re right. It would just mean that you’re allowed to say it.
Now, I would have loved to be there in Leipzig, the other day, at “Socko”, the great trade fair for socks (without a homepage of its own, unfortunately). Apparently, the troupe “perform art” of Cologne (also without a homepage), er, performed in a disused hall of a spinning company and illustrated on stage not only the frequent fate of socks to become separated from our loved ones, but also the growing significance of a new generation of socks, made of high-tech fibres like Lycra and Tactel. I don’t know how they did it, but it must have been a feast for all who were there – after all, Tactel and Lycra make our sockish lives much more comfortable, keeping feet dry even when it’s wet outside. And “Tactel Aquator” keeps that dreaded disgusting liquid, sweat, far away from us all. Take this, you sock-decrying materialist maniac: We contribute to the world of art through innovative technology. What do you have to offer?